On Learning (how to drive)

I am 37 years old, but never had the necessity of driving a car.

As I used to live in an area with good transportation, with Uber working perfectly and working from home, driving wasn't something that I required.

When I moved out to live with my wife, driving became more important, however, as she knew how to drive very well and enjoyed driving very much, I didn't feel any sense of urgency to learn.

Everything changed when my wife became pregnant by the end of last year (2023). Not only because there would come a near time in which she wouldn't be allowed (and safe for her) to drive, but also because I wanted to be able to drive her to the hospital when the baby arrived.

That was all the urgency and emotional connection I needed to start the project we named "Speed Racer." The project started by the end of last year (when we discovered the family would expand), and I felt more confident with my driving skills (being able to drive on highways and with fewer minor mistakes) by June this year.

How did I accomplish it?

First, I needed to reduce the "activation energy" to the minimum. I hired a good instructor that would pick me up right in front of my house twice a week on the same day and the same hour. I made it part of my routine. He also prepared me to take the driving exam for the driving license, which I successfully passed by the end of last year.

A persona confession here. There were times that I struggled a lot. There were some practice sessions that I came back totally stressed out, feeling that I wasn't progressing and thinking that I was on a plateau that I couldn't overcome.

But I tried to remain calm and kept going. Developing any skill takes time and patience. You can have a bad session, rest and on the next session you feel totally different. Having a good coach and supporting peers is an incredible help.

Once I had my license, I started to drive more around my town with the car we had available in secret. Why in secret? Because the car was owned by my mother-in-law, and she shared it with my wife. This made me take more care of the car than if it were mine.

But still, there was a problem. By March, I wasn't yet able to drive on highways, and the hospital that we chose for our baby to be born was outside our town. Thankfully, our baby's estimated date would be August, so I still had time.

My wife (and my unborn child getting bigger) was a great accountability buddy. She pressured me to go and drive on the highway, but for (very prudent) safety reasons, the first time I drive there shouldn't be with a pregnant woman as co-driver. I had more confidence in my driving skills around town, but driving on the highway required other skills.

That's why I convinced my instructor to take me to some special highway lessons. I say "convinced" because those lessons were too time-consuming for him, but we could negotiate a price, and gladly he also liked my motivation.

We scheduled three special classes to practice highways going to a town that is located 45 minutes from where I live.

Of course, three classes weren't enough to make me feel confident and safe, and add to that my goal was being able to drive to the hospital, which was also 45 minutes from where I live but in the other direction.

But going out to the highway with the instructor and going out with your (very patient and supportive) pregnant wife is very different.

The first time we went together, I almost had an anxiety attack. My hands were sweating a lot, and my throat got very dry. It felt awful, but her voice calmed me down, and the huge skin in the game I had didn't leave me any other choice but to focus on the read.

After this episode, every Saturday until August we decided together with my (very patient and supportive) wife to wake up at 7 am, a time when there wasn't too much traffic, and go together with me as the driver to the hospital. There, we would have some coffee and a big breakfast (for her and our unborn child) in a nearby coffee shop and then come back to our house.

This was an incredible learning experience.

It was very interesting how the first weeks my mind paid attention only to my motion and operating skills, and once those were internalized with the help of some muscle memory, my mind focused more on the direct view of what's happening on the street. Only after that, the mind started to think in further steps, like anticipating what other cars would do and what is happening at the long distance.

Until this year, I thought I would never be able to drive. That's why I keep on thinking about how I could accomplish this great goal for me.

Reflecting on it, I saw all the "productivity and hacking tips" aligned together. Some of them were conscious designed, and some others just emerged from the context, but all of them together caused Lollapalooza effects, as Charlie Munger would say.

Deliberate practice

Defining what skills are you going to try on each session and focusing on those. Don't focus on what you already know. Focus on the hard parts that you need to improve on each session. It's hard, but it is what makes you progress. Once I accomplished the driving basics and was comfortable in a low traffic area, we went to drive to areas with more traffic. Next avenues and highways at the end.

Autopilot schedule

Setting a time to learn and making it the only thing to focus on at that time is key. I didn't need to decide if I had to practice. We set the same day and same hour with the instructor. And he came to my house. It was all set. And we also set the same day and time with my wife when we practice together going to the hospital.

A Great coach

This is very, very important. Having a great coach with teaching experience is what can make you progress in a short time. If I had to do it alone or with some other person as co-driver, it wouldn't have been the same. The coach had specific sessions planned to improve what I was struggling with. He made deliberate practice possible.

Accountability Buddy

Having my wife as support and to motivate me was the energy that needed to keep going. There were times that I wanted to throw the towel, but having someone that helps you reflect on how much you have accomplished and how little you have left was priceless.

An unalterable deadline

The baby was going to arrive by that date (middle of August). I had a specific date that I needed to comply with. This also kept me motivated. I needed to keep going if I wanted to perform correctly by that date.

A very visible and concrete goal

My goal was to be able to drive to the hospital with as much confidence and calm as possible. Because if my wife was in labor, driving shouldn't panic me or stress me out, as I would also have to support her in that situation. It was very measurable. And all the steps to accomplish that cascade very directly from that goal.

Those are the things that helped me most and what I can organically remember. Realizing them makes me think that If I would want (or need) to learn another new skill fast, I would try to set up as many of these tips as possible.

Thankfully, everything went well on that day. My baby was born healthy, and my wife is very well. My driving skills were acceptable, and they were tested to the limit. Why?

My baby decided to be born at rush hour and on a rainy day.

PS: Lady Fortuna was very generous with me, because I also could buy my own car from some friends that were going to live abroad just a few days before my baby was born.

I am also very thankful to my wife, without her patience, support and motivation, it wouldn't have been possible for me to learn this skill. Special thanks also to my instructor, Walter. Without him, I wouldn't have made progress in such a short time.